I went to the year 10 formal alone. A wallflower. The whole night I’m sitting in the corner eating tiny quiches and longing for someone to ask me to dance. Everyone’s making out and dirty dancing and I think – “no one will ever want to do that sort of thing with me”. SUDDENLY, Bobby, the boy that I have always secretly loved – a track star, way out of my league – comes over, hands me a corsage and begins to serenade me with a saxaphone. We are crowned king and queen of the formal. I lose my virginity in a tiara, the way I always imagined it.